As time has passed & I have had more time to recollect the events of our wedding, I've realized there are so many things that I wished I had done differently. Things that I had put hours of work into that made no difference in the end. Purchases I regretted making or stressing over & ones I wish I would have made. Even though our wedding was one of the most magical days of my life, I definitely would have done some things differently if I could go back & do it again... however, I'm perfectly content never having to do it again!
#1 DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF, BECAUSE IT IS ALL SMALL STUFF
I spent hours putting together lists of things I needed to purchase, people I needed to contact, things I needed to do, & stressing about the smallest things like a flower girl basket (my Grandma ended up custom making one) & matching photo frames that we almost didn't end up using! I went to multiple different stores again & again, I bought things impulsively that I never ended up using at all, & yet I never even noticed most of these things on the actual day. In fact, I don't think anyone did! I wasted so much time stressing over the small stuff that I didn't even realize how unimportant it all was. I gave myself panic attacks daily, so you can probably guess how ridiculous I feel looking back now. Save yourself the stress & focus on the things that are most important to you. Prioritize the things that you know will stand out in your memory, & don't sweat the small stuff, because it's all small stuff.
#2 DON'T RUSH TO CHOOSE YOUR BRIDAL PARTY
One of the hardest decisions you have to make as a Bride-to-Be is choosing your bridal party. At first, it may seem like an obvious choice. You may have a close circle that you have been friends with for years, but things can change. One of my best friends was set to be my Maid of Honor, but had some drastic life changes prevent her from being able to help me as much as she originally thought she could, so the responsibility fell to my sister. I rekindled an old friendship with someone I had once been very close with not long before the wedding & wished it wasn't too late to make her a part of the Bridal party & I almost had a falling out with another bridesmaid who was nearly replaced entirely. Circumstances change throughout the planning process, so make sure that whoever you choose is up to taking on that responsibility & that they are someone you know will be a friend for life. Thankfully it all worked out in the end, but my husband was smart to take his time before choosing his Groomsmen. If I had done the same, it could have prevented a lot of unnecessary stress for both me & my Bridesmaids!
#3 SPLURGE ON THE IMPORTANT THINGS
As much as your wedding day seems like the perfect occasion to let your creative flag fly, there are some things better left to the professionals. I poured hours of labor & hundreds of dollars into making our floral centerpieces, the Bridesmaids Bouquets & the Groomsmen's Boutonnières, only to find a florist at the last minute who would have charged me $200 less than what I spent on doing it with my friends. Not only would it have saved me so much time & effort, but I could have used that extra money to put towards a videographer - an investment I WISH I would have made. An additional shooter is a valuable asset when booking your photographer because you can be sure that all the important moments are captured. We decided to book The Utah Photo Lounge instead of doing a typical guest book & it was one of the most worthwhile investments we made! Each guest received a photo strip as a wedding favor & the other copy was placed in a book for them to sign. We even received all of the digital copies so it was like having an additional photographer! All of our guests are still talking about it months later.
Be sure to consider what you'd like to experience as a guest at your wedding so you can make an educated decision on the worthwhile expenses, but be sure to stay true to what makes your relationship unique. Your wedding is an expression of who you are together!
#4 YOU CAN'T PLEASE EVERYBODY
Your wedding day is a lot like throwing a big party for all of your family & friends, but what nobody tells you is that it's a party that everyone has expectations or opinions about. Some people will inevitably want to play some part in the planning process or feel as though their input on your choice in apparel is more valuable than a decision you spent months making. You may come to realize that your fiancé doesn't share your excitement for the color scheme you've wanted since you were a little girl or that your future in-laws don't agree with your choice in venue. Whatever the case, try to strike that delicate balance between knowing that the wedding isn't just about you, & knowing that in the end it is still your day. I spent a lot of time trying to convince one of my Bridesmaids to wear something she wasn't comfortable in, & in the end I catered to what she wanted & she was willing to meet me in the middle. My husband did not share my enthusiasm for the color scheme, but once I changed it up a little bit, he was more than willing to cooperate. Don't let yourself get so stuck in your own wants that you compromise someone else's comfortability. If your fiancé or your bridal party feels as though their needs are being met, they will be much more willing to go the extra mile. That being said, it is still your day & it will mean more to you and your fiancé than to anyone else involved, so don't stress yourself out trying to please everybody.
#5 DON'T BE AFRAID TO DELEGATE
Even if you don't like asking for help, it is necessary when planning & orchestrating a wedding. Especially if you are having it in an unconventional venue or somewhere that doesn't offer full wedding services. Everything from the chairs being set up & put away to helping the Bride go the bathroom needs to be delegated, & the big day is not the day to determine who you're going to rely on. Plenty of people will offer during the planning process, so don't be afraid to take them up on it! Make use of family members & friends who are not part of the bridal party so they still feel as though they are involved. They can greet people at the door, they can pass out wedding favors, they can help the vendors set up & take down. Whatever the need, don't be afraid to ask for help & definitely don't wait until the last minute!
#6 TAKE SOME TIME TO BREATHE
I was in such a rush to get ready, then get to the altar, then to get through the ceremony, that I forgot to BREATHE. I know it's a lot of stress leading up to the big day, but when you finally get there, slow down & be present in each moment. There are so many wonderful things that you'll want to be able to look back on, so don't be afraid to step away & calm your nerves. I know there's a lot of people who want to see you, want to know what they are supposed to do next, want to know if you're okay, but there is no shame in taking a moment for yourself. Having a few moments of calm in the midst of the wonderful chaos is the best thing you can do to ensure that your big day is as wonderful as you hoped it would be.
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